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The state of Erin
I can't believe it's been more than a month since I posted something OF SUBSTANCE. It's been almost a month since I've posted, period. I cannot stress enough how quickly time is moving in my life. It just keeps getting faster and it's blowing my mind.
It's not T-minus 14 days to the big 3-0. And when I say it like that it comes off way more dramatic than I feel, I gotta say. I'm not anxious or worried or anything about turning 30. I don't know if I ever expected or imagined myself at a certain point when I turned 30 so I don't have anything that I've failed to accomplish. Hell, it's only been in the past couple years that I've stopped saying that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I mean, I still don't, but at least I'm at the point in my adulthood when I can just let that slide and go about my day as normal.
I don't have that itch to move on right now, but I don't think that's for a lack of want. I'm just comfortable here right now, if not content. Medicine Hat has been good for me and I think a lot of that has to do with my mom moving out here, although I know the day is coming that both of us will put our respective feet down and strike out on our own again. I love that we share the financial burden of the house and utilities because it means I get to live in a HOUSE and we have enough room and whatnot, but I do miss being able to come home and have a whole space to myself, warts and all.
But all that isn't something that's eating at me, driving me crazy. I like that. I think things will get a bit rocky in the coming weeks if my mom doesn't get a job but that's not right now and I don't want to stress over it as such. Mom was hired on for a temp position with the city chamber that turned out to be really good for her. She enjoyed the job, the people, and it kept her busy and, well, in the money. However the job she was subbing for was overhauled and so with the new description her bosses were looking for someone with specific research and graphics training, which my mom definitely doesn't have. They even told her they looked in their budget to see if they could keep her on as well but they just couldn't swing it. She does have an awesome recommendation letter from the head of the chamber, though, and that should help A LOT because, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, although MH is a city, it's still very much stuck in a small town mentality. It's hard to get a good job here without a foot in the door or help.
I'm still mulling over my thoughts on my creativity, something I brought up in my last real post from
It's not T-minus 14 days to the big 3-0. And when I say it like that it comes off way more dramatic than I feel, I gotta say. I'm not anxious or worried or anything about turning 30. I don't know if I ever expected or imagined myself at a certain point when I turned 30 so I don't have anything that I've failed to accomplish. Hell, it's only been in the past couple years that I've stopped saying that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I mean, I still don't, but at least I'm at the point in my adulthood when I can just let that slide and go about my day as normal.
I don't have that itch to move on right now, but I don't think that's for a lack of want. I'm just comfortable here right now, if not content. Medicine Hat has been good for me and I think a lot of that has to do with my mom moving out here, although I know the day is coming that both of us will put our respective feet down and strike out on our own again. I love that we share the financial burden of the house and utilities because it means I get to live in a HOUSE and we have enough room and whatnot, but I do miss being able to come home and have a whole space to myself, warts and all.
But all that isn't something that's eating at me, driving me crazy. I like that. I think things will get a bit rocky in the coming weeks if my mom doesn't get a job but that's not right now and I don't want to stress over it as such. Mom was hired on for a temp position with the city chamber that turned out to be really good for her. She enjoyed the job, the people, and it kept her busy and, well, in the money. However the job she was subbing for was overhauled and so with the new description her bosses were looking for someone with specific research and graphics training, which my mom definitely doesn't have. They even told her they looked in their budget to see if they could keep her on as well but they just couldn't swing it. She does have an awesome recommendation letter from the head of the chamber, though, and that should help A LOT because, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, although MH is a city, it's still very much stuck in a small town mentality. It's hard to get a good job here without a foot in the door or help.
I'm still mulling over my thoughts on my creativity, something I brought up in my last real post from
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I can't believe it's been more than a month since I posted something OF SUBSTANCE. It's been almost a month since I've posted, period. I cannot stress enough how quickly time is moving in my life. It just keeps getting faster and it's blowing my mind.
<lj-cut text="On my birthday"> It's not T-minus 14 days to the big 3-0. And when I say it like that it comes off way more dramatic than I feel, I gotta say. I'm not anxious or worried or anything about turning 30. I don't know if I ever expected or imagined myself at a certain point when I turned 30 so I don't have anything that I've failed to accomplish. Hell, it's only been in the past couple years that I've stopped saying that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I mean, I still don't, but at least I'm at the point in my adulthood when I can just let that slide and go about my day as normal. </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On my state of mind [good!] & mom"> I don't have that itch to move on right now, but I don't think that's for a lack of want. I'm just comfortable here right now, if not content. Medicine Hat has been good for me and I think a lot of that has to do with my mom moving out here, although I know the day is coming that both of us will put our respective feet down and strike out on our own again. I love that we share the financial burden of the house and utilities because it means I get to live in a HOUSE and we have enough room and whatnot, but I do miss being able to come home and have a whole space to myself, warts and all.
But all that isn't something that's eating at me, driving me crazy. I like that. I think things will get a bit rocky in the coming weeks if my mom doesn't get a job but that's not right now and I don't want to stress over it as such. Mom was hired on for a temp position with the city chamber that turned out to be really good for her. She enjoyed the job, the people, and it kept her busy and, well, in the money. However the job she was subbing for was overhauled and so with the new description her bosses were looking for someone with specific research and graphics training, which my mom definitely doesn't have. They even told her they looked in their budget to see if they could keep her on as well but they just couldn't swing it. She does have an awesome recommendation letter from the head of the chamber, though, and that should help A LOT because, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, although MH is a city, it's still very much stuck in a small town mentality. It's hard to get a good job here without a foot in the door or help. </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On my creativity & influences on it"> I'm still mulling over my thoughts on my creativity, something I brought up in my last real post from <a href="http://summer-skin.livejournal.com/660721.htmlMay 28th</a>. I can't believe it's been that long AGAIN. It's crazy how easily it was for my depression to overtake the drive and the devotion I had to something. It was like being singularly focused on something until it was complete and the sense of relief and accomplishment I used to have from that was so fulfilling--and yet so fucking easily to disappear from my existence once some chemicals in my brain decided to get out of hand.
I've been feeling little flicks and flickers of that again. Nothing completely fleshed out and nothing that I could even call an idea but those moments when you turn around and catch a glimpse of something---BAM!! Idea! That overwhelming rush that demands you put it down into words that very moment or else you'll lose it forever. But just the feelings so far, not the actual thoughts, LOL. I've missed that so very much.
It doesn't help that I still don't have a fandom of any sort. Or that I haven't read a fic in, oh, at least three years. At least. Probably more. Once I lost interest in SPN I lost interest in a lot of things and one of those was reading fic. I find I'm not a casual fic reader or into reading stuff for fandoms I only have a fringe interest in. I have the inclination to read fic now, but I just haven't. </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On my fannish interests with tv & such">I have taken a shine to Clint/Natasha from <I>The Avengers</i>, I have started watching <I>Hart of Dixie</I> and because so many people on my flist and in general on the internet have glommed onto One Direction I have also started tentatively introducing myself to that whole *waves hand* thing (<user site="livejournal.com" user="estrella30"> is to blame a bit for the latter two). I also watched the first series of <I>Sherlock</I> on Netflix (I have discovered Netflix, oh yes, about fifty billion years late and the movie selections suck but the TV, oh, the TEEEEVEEEE!) and have <I>Luther</i> and <I>Bedlam</I> on deck since there's only one series each of those available. I have also downloaded the first season of <I>Suburgatory</I> which I have heard is good, am continuing to watch (and cap) <I>Hart of Dixie</I> and am SO EXCITED by <I>The Newsroom</I> (can I have it ALL right now, kthx?). I have given up on <I>True Blood</I>, despite my desire to watch Christopher Meloni, but even he can't drag me back into that shit show again (and I mean shit show as in wackadoodle, not necessarily that it's shitty, although it's definitely not the best show in the world and thusly why it airs in summer for trashy, hot night viewing). Finally, I'm just now coming around to the brilliance that is <I>Bob's Burgers</I> which isn't something totally of note because I haven't sought it out to watch, I only see it on Sundays when it airs but I'm never disappointed and does anyone else enjoy it thusly? </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On movies"> On the movie front I have a movie bud right now, who has just moved back to town and has no plans for a job until August at the earliest, so I have been seeing more movies than normal now! I've gone with him to <I>The Hunger Games</I>, <I>The Avengers</I>, <I>Snow White and the Huntsman</I>, <I>Prometheus</I>, <I>21 Jump Street</I> and we have plans to go see <I>Seeking a Friend for the End of the World</I> this week, which I think looks awesome. I might see if he'll go to <I>Savages</I> with me, too, because although it looks trashy and weird I think I want to see it because it reminds me a bit of watching <I>True Blood</I>, you know? </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On other social medias"> I finally deleted my Facebook and it was awesome. I also am really loving SpringPad (I'm summer__skin) over there so if you have one, uh, follow me? I guess? I have found all sorts of lovely recipes on there and that's my main reason for enjoying it so far but also for other pretty pictures, I guess. Mostly to store things I come across on the internet and so I enjoy that. It's a more orgainzed tumblr for me. </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On iconning"> I have been actually quite active on LJ of late, despite my quietness on my own journal. I have been participating in icon things quite a bit and have been enjoying my results. I desperately need to post some icons to my journal just to show that I have actual STUFF, but I'm still trying to work on my backlog, which for some reason I feel the need to get rid of before I post new stuff. Then it turns into old stuff. The circle of iconning life, ladies and gentlemen. I have a whole post of stuff in my "to post" folder that I just... haven't yet. And it's all been there for probably three months, of stuff that I've created over the past three years. Yeah, I don't know either.
I know I opened up to requests in my last real post and I still want to do them but I only got a couple bites so I think I'm going to post at my icon community and open them up there, then crosspost here, mmmkay?</lj-cut>
I want to do that 100 Days blogging challenge, still, so I think I'm either going to do my Favourite things (original, I know) or celebs or something. I'll figure it out. I just have to DO it.
That's as much as I need to blather on about right now. I really want to keep more up to date with journalling, as well, so here's hoping!
<lj-cut text="On my birthday"> It's not T-minus 14 days to the big 3-0. And when I say it like that it comes off way more dramatic than I feel, I gotta say. I'm not anxious or worried or anything about turning 30. I don't know if I ever expected or imagined myself at a certain point when I turned 30 so I don't have anything that I've failed to accomplish. Hell, it's only been in the past couple years that I've stopped saying that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I mean, I still don't, but at least I'm at the point in my adulthood when I can just let that slide and go about my day as normal. </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On my state of mind [good!] & mom"> I don't have that itch to move on right now, but I don't think that's for a lack of want. I'm just comfortable here right now, if not content. Medicine Hat has been good for me and I think a lot of that has to do with my mom moving out here, although I know the day is coming that both of us will put our respective feet down and strike out on our own again. I love that we share the financial burden of the house and utilities because it means I get to live in a HOUSE and we have enough room and whatnot, but I do miss being able to come home and have a whole space to myself, warts and all.
But all that isn't something that's eating at me, driving me crazy. I like that. I think things will get a bit rocky in the coming weeks if my mom doesn't get a job but that's not right now and I don't want to stress over it as such. Mom was hired on for a temp position with the city chamber that turned out to be really good for her. She enjoyed the job, the people, and it kept her busy and, well, in the money. However the job she was subbing for was overhauled and so with the new description her bosses were looking for someone with specific research and graphics training, which my mom definitely doesn't have. They even told her they looked in their budget to see if they could keep her on as well but they just couldn't swing it. She does have an awesome recommendation letter from the head of the chamber, though, and that should help A LOT because, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, although MH is a city, it's still very much stuck in a small town mentality. It's hard to get a good job here without a foot in the door or help. </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On my creativity & influences on it"> I'm still mulling over my thoughts on my creativity, something I brought up in my last real post from <a href="http://summer-skin.livejournal.com/660721.htmlMay 28th</a>. I can't believe it's been that long AGAIN. It's crazy how easily it was for my depression to overtake the drive and the devotion I had to something. It was like being singularly focused on something until it was complete and the sense of relief and accomplishment I used to have from that was so fulfilling--and yet so fucking easily to disappear from my existence once some chemicals in my brain decided to get out of hand.
I've been feeling little flicks and flickers of that again. Nothing completely fleshed out and nothing that I could even call an idea but those moments when you turn around and catch a glimpse of something---BAM!! Idea! That overwhelming rush that demands you put it down into words that very moment or else you'll lose it forever. But just the feelings so far, not the actual thoughts, LOL. I've missed that so very much.
It doesn't help that I still don't have a fandom of any sort. Or that I haven't read a fic in, oh, at least three years. At least. Probably more. Once I lost interest in SPN I lost interest in a lot of things and one of those was reading fic. I find I'm not a casual fic reader or into reading stuff for fandoms I only have a fringe interest in. I have the inclination to read fic now, but I just haven't. </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On my fannish interests with tv & such">I have taken a shine to Clint/Natasha from <I>The Avengers</i>, I have started watching <I>Hart of Dixie</I> and because so many people on my flist and in general on the internet have glommed onto One Direction I have also started tentatively introducing myself to that whole *waves hand* thing (<user site="livejournal.com" user="estrella30"> is to blame a bit for the latter two). I also watched the first series of <I>Sherlock</I> on Netflix (I have discovered Netflix, oh yes, about fifty billion years late and the movie selections suck but the TV, oh, the TEEEEVEEEE!) and have <I>Luther</i> and <I>Bedlam</I> on deck since there's only one series each of those available. I have also downloaded the first season of <I>Suburgatory</I> which I have heard is good, am continuing to watch (and cap) <I>Hart of Dixie</I> and am SO EXCITED by <I>The Newsroom</I> (can I have it ALL right now, kthx?). I have given up on <I>True Blood</I>, despite my desire to watch Christopher Meloni, but even he can't drag me back into that shit show again (and I mean shit show as in wackadoodle, not necessarily that it's shitty, although it's definitely not the best show in the world and thusly why it airs in summer for trashy, hot night viewing). Finally, I'm just now coming around to the brilliance that is <I>Bob's Burgers</I> which isn't something totally of note because I haven't sought it out to watch, I only see it on Sundays when it airs but I'm never disappointed and does anyone else enjoy it thusly? </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On movies"> On the movie front I have a movie bud right now, who has just moved back to town and has no plans for a job until August at the earliest, so I have been seeing more movies than normal now! I've gone with him to <I>The Hunger Games</I>, <I>The Avengers</I>, <I>Snow White and the Huntsman</I>, <I>Prometheus</I>, <I>21 Jump Street</I> and we have plans to go see <I>Seeking a Friend for the End of the World</I> this week, which I think looks awesome. I might see if he'll go to <I>Savages</I> with me, too, because although it looks trashy and weird I think I want to see it because it reminds me a bit of watching <I>True Blood</I>, you know? </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On other social medias"> I finally deleted my Facebook and it was awesome. I also am really loving SpringPad (I'm summer__skin) over there so if you have one, uh, follow me? I guess? I have found all sorts of lovely recipes on there and that's my main reason for enjoying it so far but also for other pretty pictures, I guess. Mostly to store things I come across on the internet and so I enjoy that. It's a more orgainzed tumblr for me. </lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="On iconning"> I have been actually quite active on LJ of late, despite my quietness on my own journal. I have been participating in icon things quite a bit and have been enjoying my results. I desperately need to post some icons to my journal just to show that I have actual STUFF, but I'm still trying to work on my backlog, which for some reason I feel the need to get rid of before I post new stuff. Then it turns into old stuff. The circle of iconning life, ladies and gentlemen. I have a whole post of stuff in my "to post" folder that I just... haven't yet. And it's all been there for probably three months, of stuff that I've created over the past three years. Yeah, I don't know either.
I know I opened up to requests in my last real post and I still want to do them but I only got a couple bites so I think I'm going to post at my icon community and open them up there, then crosspost here, mmmkay?</lj-cut>
I want to do that 100 Days blogging challenge, still, so I think I'm either going to do my Favourite things (original, I know) or celebs or something. I'll figure it out. I just have to DO it.
That's as much as I need to blather on about right now. I really want to keep more up to date with journalling, as well, so here's hoping!
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